This was my best birthday yet and not for the reasons I thought it would be. We had always planned to take the BIG trip to Napa and Sonoma for my BIG 40th birthday. We had it all lined up to have a group of friends go with us. We were supposed to go this past April (for an early celebration). And then COVID happened. But that’s not why we didn’t go.
A year ago, next week (December 2nd) was the first day of my blissful alcohol-free (AF) life. I had been agonizing over my relationship with wine especially last fall and (truthfully for years). With the help of This Naked Mind made possible by the grace and strength that came from my loving God, I made the bold decision to enter into an AF lifestyle. Right before the holidays too y’all! Say what?!
There was so much fear and worry leading up to this decision. So many what if’s I had to reconcile and specific to my 40th birthday trip. What if I am AF and can’t go on the Napa/Sonoma bday...
62…that’s the number of days until I turn the BIG 4-0. My whole adult life whenever I’ve thought ahead to turning 40, there has always been an accompanying dread. 40 is mid-life. What’s exciting and fun about mid-life?! It’s when the second part of life begins. The second part that is on the ‘old side.’ With the best years of your life behind you and nothing but getting older to look forward I’ve always been a bit resistant to this big birthday. Until…
This exact time last year, I was a week shy of the announcement that the pharmaceutical company I worked for was laying off its entire sales force. With that news came the stress and uncertainty of what comes next, naturally. But it also came with some much-needed relief. Despite the shiny exterior projecting that I had it all together (I’m a natural performer after-all) I was struggling.
I was caught up in the hustle that is ‘doing more, performing...
Self-awareness has become quite the buzz word, like mindfulness was the “it” word at the start of 2018. Like the word or not, there are a lot of questions around what exactly does it mean and what does it look like in real life?
Pre-covid, you know like 10 years ago (last fall) while listening to a panel of “expert” moms share parenting advice, I had an A-ha moment that completely solidified for me the importance of practicing self-awareness.
The advice given was to not publicly shame our child/children when they make a mistake in front of other people. Sound advice, right? And seems pretty obvious.
Specifically, in the example they used, the advice was “don’t call your kid out in front of others for not using manners, making eye-contact etc when speaking to an adult.” They suggested we handle it, privately, on the back end instead. Use your child’s mistake as a teachable moment after the fact and by so doing you...
I WAS ASLEEP
I was lost in the hustle and noise of my 'do, serve, perform, achieve and be who others need me to be' mom-life. I was drinking wine to quiet that noise and ‘take the much-needed edge off.’ I had a wonderful life and yet I wasn’t able to find the joy in it. I felt constrained, irritable, impatient and anxious. Something was missing.
I WAS AWARE
The noise was getting louder and an internal tension was brewing. Desperate to figure out what was missing and desperate to make some kind of change I took many breaks from drinking. Dry January here, weight-loss cleanse there. I took many breaks but they were never permanent. Even though I loved the benefits of not drinking, with more energy, better sleep, improved mood and weight loss, this was not true freedom from alcohol for two reasons: